Quiet Time

I know I kept you all in suspense over quiet time.  And I will happily admit that yes, I do sequester my children twice a day, every day, in their rooms.  For R it is for an hour each time.  It may not seem like a huge deal to you or you may be gasping, looking up the phone number for child protective services.  But I will still admit that quiet time is the number one best thing I have ever done in scheduling our day.  Let me begin as I naturally should, at the beginning:

R has never liked naptime.  Since she was about 2 months old she has fought and fought and fought naptime.  Naps are necessary for her though.  She wasn't one of those kids that could function without naps.  She HAD to have them.  So that led to almost 4 years of fighting with her about naps.  You can read some of the early posts on this blog for some 'fun' naptime stories.  Fast forward to B's impending birth.  I'm nervous about dealing with naptime battles and a newborn so I make a deal with her.  At the time it almost seemed like dealing with the devil, but I was desperate.  She was 3 1/2, plenty old enough to quietly entertain herself while mama thought she was sleeping.  But the benefits of the nap weren't there, she was a cranky-pants for the rest of the evening.  So I made a deal: Go down for your nap easily for the next 5 months, and when you turn 4, you don't have to take a nap every day anymore.
And you know what?  It pretty much worked.  I simply reminded her of our little bargain at naptime, and more often than not, she went down easily.  But the she turned 4.  What is a new-mom-of-two going to do without those critical afternoon hours of peace?

Enter: Quiet time.  R still has to go to her room and play *quietly* on her bed every day after lunch.  The trick is that it has to be a quiet activity and she can't leave her bed to play.  That is the difference between room/prayer time and quiet time.  In room time, as long as you're in your room and you're not bothering anyone else, you can do whatever (after her prayers are done).  In quiet time, I will usually tell her how many books she can bring into her bed, or she'll let me know if she'd rather play with her dolls instead.  She has a few hour-long CDs that she rotates through to keep it interesting and she just does her own thing.  Sometimes I'll tell her that she has to make her bed or pick up some toys before she can begin reading, but it's usually just up to her.

On a good day, I coordinate B's naps with her quiet time, but lately that hasn't been happening.  He's been going down between 10-11 and not getting up until after lunch, so I lose my "me" time, but it is still easier than having both kids needing me.  He'll happily eat lunch in his high chair while I work on laundry or dishes or taking care of my seeds.

This doesn't mean that R doesn't take naps at all anymore.  I have been known to schedule my day to be running errands at that critical hour just so both kids would get some sleep.  And if R has attitude problems, she has to take a nap.  Not as punishment, but as rest so she can get a better attitude and prevent future problems.

So quiet time is a couple of things for us.
1.  It is a much-needed winding-down period for R.  She plays hard, she works hard, and having this little decompression break after lunch gives her time to get rid of any attitude problems that might be brewing.
2.   It's a much-needed break for me.  By the afternoon we've done some or all of our school day and I need a little rest for myself.
3.  If B is not down for a nap, it gives me time to have some one-on-one time with him.

Before you call child protective services, give it a try.  You might find that it makes your day go a lot smoother as well :)