Mawwiage

This blog post has been brewing for a while, and it finally bubbled over this morning (in the shower, of course).

I have mentioned before that Mr. P and I have taught the Truth Project by Focus on the Family.  One of the "tours" is about relationships, specifically personal relationships.  God and Man and Marriage/Family.

I hear this phrase a lot, "God created us for relationship."  This is true, but I think it gets a little ahead of itself.  Because the truth is that God is relationship.  Within Himself.  He has never been alone and will never be alone.  We were created in his image and since our limited earthly bodies cannot possibly contain all that God is, He created us with this inherent need to commune with others and with Him.

And so we reach the subject of marriage.  Marriage is not about you.  Did you know that?  God didn't invent and ordain the first marriage to make Adam and Eve happy.  It was so much more than that.  God invented marriage to reflect Him.  Our family unit (Father/Mother/Children) is designed to reflect God's triune nature (Father/Son/Holy Spirit).  There are plenty of verses in the Bible that correlate the relationships in the family to the relationships of the triune God.

So why, Christians, are we acting like marriage is just something that should make us happy, and when it doesn't, are we throwing it away?  What testimony about God are we giving the world?  You married a sinner, and your spouse married a sinner.  Two sinners in relationship will always have problems.  It's forgiveness that gets them through.  Keep in mind what Jesus did for his Bride.  Jesus gave everything so that God could forgive us.  He gave everything.  His entire life was a sacrifice.  He left perfection and holiness to come put on human flesh and deal with our problems and sin.  Since Jesus paid that price for us to be redeemed, why aren't we able to forgive our spouse for his/her sins?

Instead we think that Marriage is supposed to make us happy.  Marriage will fill that hole we have for relationship, and it does, but often we want it to fill more than the need for human relationship, we want to to fill the need we have for God, too.  Only God can fill that hole, and if you try to force your spouse into it, you will only be disappointed.

Stick with me here:  Cookies make me happy.  I love cookies.  I could eat cookies every day, and never get tired of them.  Yum, yum, yum.  But, lately, cookies have been moving me away from my fitness goals, which does not make me happy, it makes me fat.  Fat = unhappy, kinda.  So I have taken a break from cookies.  It's painful, but it's for the best.

My relationship with cookies sounds like a lot of people's marriages. Why don't we see our spouses as any better than cookies?  Your spouse is a loved child of God, (hopefully) saved by grace, just like you.

So when you decide that it's "just not working out," what reflection of God are you giving your family, your children, the world?  That God is fickle?  That there are some sins that God just cannot forgive?  YOU are a reflection of God, and your relationships are also a reflection of his nature. That is a great responsibility, my friend.  One you probably didn't realize you had when you accepted Jesus as your Savior.  I know I didn't.  But now, my goal is to reflect God in myself, my marriage, and my relationship with my kids.  I fall very, very short most of the time.  But I think I'm on the right path.

You know that verse that says, "God hates divorce?"  God hates divorce because it is against his nature.  He was never divorced and never will be divorced.  The closest He may have come to being "divorced" was when Jesus was on the cross and had taken upon himself all of our sin, therefore separating him from God.  I know that God wept when that happened.  This perfect relationship was marred by our sin.  But because of Jesus' sacrifice, of taking on my sin, I now have the chance to be in communion with God myself.  It's beautiful.  We are taking the beauty of those Divine relationships and destroying them in our quest to be "happy."

If you are not saved by grace, then this entire post does not apply to you.  You have no reason beyond yourselves to stay married, but that desire to be connected with one person isn't just cultural.  It doesn't come from watching Disney movies throughout your childhood, it comes from your creator.  Imago Deo  He is in relationship within himself, and with us, and it is our need to be in an intimate relationship on earth as well.

Before you bombard me with your "exception" stories, trust me, I know.  I am a child of divorce.  My parents are children of divorce.  I will not allow the generational curse to continue because even if I don't like my husband and he's not making me happy, I love my God and will do everything in my power to reflect Him to my children and to those around me.  Because it's not about me.  It's not about being happy.  It's about seeing God through these relationships he's ordained.